Every so often I think it is important for a couple to grade their marriage. It is very easy to drift away from what is important. Oftentimes it is a slow drift. While riding in a car for 6 hours to an event last week, Ridley and I did a progress report on our marriage. A little road rage was our only distraction. My time one on one with Ridley, without interruptions, refreshed my soul. The conversations weren’t all comfortable, but having my best friend all to myself sure was.
Great marriages still need attention. Great marriages don’t stay great all on their own. Communication is always a hot topic in marriage, but I think in this day and age, no communication is worse than poor communication. Technology steals our attention and typed words have replaced actual words. I know at times I feel like I run out of words without hardly opening my mouth.
As Ridley and I discussed the typical topics like parenting, finances, scheduling, work and serving, I found that many of our mountains were really just mole hills. As a wife, I draw incredible strength and feel so secure when Ridley talks things out with me. His wisdom makes him sexy and his encouragement makes me feel like I can tackle the world. So, why does it take a 6 hour car ride to finally do our progress report? I believe it is something adults are so pressured to face….RESPONSIBILITY. Don’t get me wrong. Responsibility is a good thing. It is a must in the big girl and big boy world. But somedays I don’t want to be so grown up.
Today in my quiet time, I made a list in my journal of what I wish I still found (or made) time to do. They were simple things. Some were things just for me and some were things Ridley and I don’t seem to find as much free time to do anymore. I thought back to when we were dating and I would text love notes to him while we were working. Now we text, “Hey did you get the oil changed?” or “I am running the kids to the game.” That definitely qualifies as communication, but it is usually about what we are responsible for in the day.
We have time at the end of the day to do the cliff note version of what we accomplished, but our recap is often while folding socks, writing bills, and making our list for the next day. How responsible of us, right? I have had laundry, bills and mismatched socks for my entire adult life so what is the deal? Why does it feel like such a battle to get a good grade in this marriage I love?
Today, I prayed and listened before I made my list. There were things on there like read a good book….lay on the couch without the t.v….text love notes and not just updates….be goofy….sings songs in the car together…etc. Some of them even seemed irresponsible just writing them. They didn’t seem to compare to the demands of each day. However, God showed me that it is very necessary and responsible to invest in the man and the marriage that He gave me. I came to the conclusion that responsibility in life keeps us moving towards being busy, but responsibility in our marriage keeps us moving towards being better.
My hope is that you will do a progress report for your marriage?
“Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:3