I was halfway home before the air conditioner in my car had done its job to cool off the leather that was sticking to my thighs. The air conditioner works great. I was just doing my usual rushing on a super hot day. I was focused on the road but my thoughts were all over the board. I was leaving the hospital where Abby was dealing with a huge kidney stone. Of course it revealed itself at 5:00 am that morning. At that point I was beginning to think we had a time share condo at the emergency room. Ridley has been in and out a couple times over the last several months for a pain in his side that we are still working with doctors to find out about. In my typical prayer fashion I started out like this: “Dear Lord, Really? We don’t have time for this.”
In between the physical distractions, we have been preparing a son (and ourselves) for the transition to college within a month. Plus we are emotionally caring for our oldest whose wedding was canceled forty days out. To say the least, none of this was on our summer agenda. Somewhere in all of the unexpected, I was supposed to be loving on others while home for the summer to make up for all the time we are out of town traveling. I have been burdened that people I love know I really love them. Time doesn’t always allow me to show it. There are only so many lunches and dinners in a week. Another prayer sneaks out….”Lord, Do I love well?” Instantly, I feel Jesus remind me to “be still and know that He is God.”( Psalm 46:10) In my arrogance, my words began to question and debate Him. “Be still? Are you kidding me? I can’t get it all in as it is.”
Immediately His words to me were like comfort food to my soul. I had always interpreted that verse to mean to be physically still. I do believe there are times where we have to force ourselves to be physically still in this noisy world to soak in God’s love and to rejuvenate in solitude. In my case that day, I wasn’t rushing to get a manicure or to hit the early bird specials on a shopping spree. I was caring for my family. God directed me to “still” my thoughts and focus on Him. I immediately found something to thank Him for. “Jesus, thank you that our schedule had us home this summer to be available.” God knew a mom and a dad needed to be home this summer to love their kids well.
As the guilt melted away, I remembered the biblical order……God, husband, kids. So, as I drove I prayed for all the people that came to mind. “Lord, may my prayers for people I care about be sincere love.”
If I haven’t had lunch with you or I haven’t responded quickly to all your sweet messages, please know that you are loved. Jesus and I talk about you all the time.