Whew…..I almost dread writing this blog. I have prayed lots for the right words. When I started this blog several years ago, I committed to be open and honest. For the last week, I have wanted to make something up to write about just to avoid being honest. Honesty is too important to me so I just avoided blogging all together until now.
The gift of disappointment arrived last week. It caught me completely off guard. My daughter’s dream had been slowly unfolding and the prayers had been prayed for about seventeen years, so I was certain I could predict just how it would all fall into place. As a mom, there was a calm peace and a smile on my face as I watched my child experience lighthearted sweetness in life. These were the fun years to watch after watching some difficult ones. I was delighting in her choices to own her own faith and to mature into a Godly young woman.
I have read and heard Jeremiah 29:11 a bazillion times…. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Last week, I found myself reciting this verse over and over in an effort to find comfort. It didn’t work as quickly as I would have liked and at times I even felt doubt try to creep in. Every single word in the Bible is true!!! So, my faith worked hard to push out fear. I pulled from memories and experiences that proved this verse to be reliable. That old season then was so important for this season now. As quick as I realized that, I told Jesus that I would thank Him later. What I meant was I knew in my heart that His goodness was in motion and it would work out better than I could expect, but that the pain was so hard to watch for now. In the midst of her own pain, my child is teaching me about faith, trust, and the strength that only God can deliver.
It hasn’t taken long for me to thank Him. I have already come up with several thank you notes in my journal. As a mom, I still hurt for my child as the lessons of disappointment are being used once again to shape and mold her. I have asked God several times if He was sure she hasn’t already learned this lesson enough. His answer to me yesterday morning brought tears to my eyes.”Dear Lisa, Jeremiah 29:11 should remind you that not only is it a lesson, but it is a blessing.” I whispered the words spoken by another parent in the Bible. In Mark 9:24 a daddy cries out, “I do believe! Help my unbelief.”