In a sweet conversation with a young lady the other day, I heard her say “being from a broken home”….
She wasn’t using it as an excuse. She was trying to be mature and responsible with her own life. What struck me as she continued to share, was that even though I have known her for a short time and know a little bit of her story, I had never looked at her and labeled her “from a broken home”. I am proud of this Godly, young woman and our conversation rattled around in my head for days later.
Broken home is defined as a home where parents are divorced or separated. I felt the definition was too short when I looked it up. That’s it? I can share story after story of homes I would label “broken” where both parents are living together. I recall a time in my own life where my family would have been described as complete, but it was complete-ly broken. Hearts were broken. Self esteem was broken. Trust was broken. Dreams were broken. Yet there were mommy clothes and daddy clothes hanging in the closet.
There is a fine line between not allowing ourselves to live as a victim and not allowing ourselves to live with a label of defeat. Sadly, the world is full of broken homes. Yes, the divorce rate is too high. However, there are other situations in our homes that are just as damaging to people. God knew there were going to be broken homes. He is very clear in the Bible to tell us to care for widows and orphans (James 1:27). Those cases are clearly not a result of divorce.
I am always very clear to state that I DO NOT promote divorce. HEAR THIS: God hates divorce; NOT divorced people. I firmly believe the healthy environment is for a child to have their mom and dad together. However, I will be honest to share that I have often wondered if the broken home with both parents under one roof, was more difficult for my girls or the broken home with mom and dad living apart and divorced. There are consequences either way and both are so extremely hard and leave wounds.
The broken home I desire to hear about is the broken home where a mom and a dad are so broken that they put away pride, selfishness, stress and egos to allow Jesus to revive the heart of their family. I pray they are overwhelmed with their own spiritual needs. I pray they surrender control and are self denying. I pray they give up the right to be right.
The greatest healing for any heart or home broken, is for peace to invade hearts so that peace can overflow to others. James 3:17-18 from The Message translation needs to go on all of our refrigerators. “Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.”
*To my single parent friends….get out from under the label and you let Jesus be the first priority in complete healing and leading of your family.
May all of our homes be broken for the right reasons!